The Lighter Side of- Animorphs
by Henry
Summary: Don't read! For the love of god, don't read this!!!


Lighter side of Disclaimer: Yah, I don't own Animorphs, y'hear? I just think it's a kewl book series, kay? Anyvay,   
all the characters in zis story do not belong to me- 'cept Tobilis Malkan Garringa. He's mine, dammit! 

The Lighter Side of-   
Animorphs 

  
  
  
  


*Scene- Ax's Scoop* 

Ax: Dammit, Marco, not again!> 

Marco: "Eh...sorry, man..." 

Ax: Really...downloading human pornographic material. We have something rather similar back home.> 

Marco: "Andalite porn?! That's just...disturbing..." 

Ax: No more than human porn.> 

Marco: "Oh, really? Show me some!" 

*Ax uses the Z-space transponder, and a rather disturbing image appears on the computer screen* 

Marco: "AAAH! My eyes! My eyes!"   
  


*Scene- Tobias' perch* 

Tobias: So, I sez to her- it's not gonna' work out, baby. I mean yousa' a human, and I'm a bird. A bird, dammit! Youse can't marry a bird! Oh yeh, and I mean, after that little incident with Marco, man...dude, am I crazy for saying this...but we won't be able to work it out- things'll never quite be okay between us...So, what do you think, man?> 

*We pan out, to show Tobias was talking to the mother rabbit in Book #23* 

Rabbit: .....   


*Scene- Cassie's Barn* 

Rachel: So, Jake, I was thinking.... 

*Jake and Cassie are underneath a few bundles of hay, clothes flying everywhere* 

Jake: Wow, Cassie! I didn't know you liked it like this! 

Rachel: EEEEEYYYUUUU...   


*Scene-Crayak and the Ellimist* 

Crayak: You are a fool- your pitiful Animorphs will never defeat my Howlers! 

Ellimist: Um...they allready did... 

Crayak: Oh...then they will never defeat the Drode! 

Ellimist: ....they did that, too. 

Crayak: Aw, poopy. Um...AHA! I shall use the last Sharljin warrior- Tobilis Malkan Garringa- and have him confront the Animorphs! 

Ellimist: Shit... 

Crayak: BWAHAHAHAHA 

Ellimist: I'll go let them know... *Fades away* 

*Crayak continues laughing evilly, but then stops and looks around with his massive eyeball, and puts on a sickeningly cute tone to his voice* 

Crayak: I love you, you love me, we're a happy family... 

Drode: *Appears* Master?

Crayak: GAH! What is it, you fool?

Drode: Um....

Crayak: You didn't hear anything, did you?

Drode: Nope! I didn't hear you sing the 'Barney' theme again, sir!

Crayak: Good. Now go torture someone for a while.

Drode: Oh, yippee!

Crayak: Heheheheheh.....wait a minute...   
  


*Scene- Ax's Scoop*

Tobias: A shooby-do-dowop- I am Tobias, and you are not....hey, what the?>

*A bright light appears, diverting Ax and Marco's attention from their porn search*

Marco: "Oh....whatthehellisthat?"   
  
Ax: It appears to be a differnce in the electronic wave spectrum.> 

Marco: "In english?" 

Ax: It's a really bright light.> 

Marco: "Okay, then." 

*The light fades, revealing a deadly Sharljin warrior* 

Deadly Sharljin Warrior: "Hey...what the...humans? Andalites?" 

Tobias: Dude, it's Tobilis Malkan Garringa!> 

Marco: "Really? Cool, man..." 

Tobilis: "Okay, this is pretty F^cked up right here." 

Marco: "No kidding." 

*Phone rings* 

Marco: "Oh, hold on..." *Answers phone* "Hello?" 

Voice: (Drode) "Hey...what are you doing?" 

Marco: "Talkin' with aliens...downloading some porn...what's up with you?" 

Drode: "Eh, tormenting people and such..." 

Marco: "True....true..." 

Drode: ".....WHAZZZAAAP??!!!" 

Marco: "WHUTZUP???!!!!" 

Drode: "Yo, who's that?" 

Marco: "Yo, Tobias! Morph to human and pick up the cordless!" 

Tobias: Word.> *Morphs* "Hello?" 

Drode: "WHAZZZZAAAP??!!!" 

Marco: "WHUTZUP???!!!!" 

Tobias: "WHALSUP??!!!???" 

Marco: "Hey, Tobilis, Ax, join in, home dawgs." 

Tobilis: "Indeed." 

Ax: Now, all together people!> 

Drode: "WHAZZZZAAAP??!!!" 

Marco: "WHUTZUP???!!!!" 

Tobias: "WHALSUP??!!!???" 

Tobilis: "WHAZZZZZUP?!" 

Ax: What is up?!!!?!?> 

Drode: ..... 

Marco: ..... 

Tobias: .... 

Tobilis: ..... 

Ax: What?> 

Marco: "Dude...you ruined it." 

Ax: Ahem. Dammit.> 

*Tobias hangs up* 

Marco: "So, what's up?" 

Drode: "Tormenting people and such." 

Marco: "True....true..."   


*Scene- Cassie's Barn*   


Rachel: Jake, I.... 

Cassie: Mmm...mmm-hmm.... 

Rachel: Dammit! 

*Rachel then reaches through the computer screen, and- GAH* 

Rachel: Listen, writer boy, just get to the big finish...or I'll do stuff....capiece'? 

*Yessum* 

*Several hundred pages of text disappear, leaving us at the end, with Tobilis climbing into his spaceship, while the Animorphs watch Visser One sing the blues.* 

Visser One: Crappy fic, wasn't it?>   
  
  
  



End file.
